MANAUS, BRAZIL—Plotting out his schedule for the rest of the day, local sloth Jim Garra confirmed Monday that he was…
PHILADELPHIA—Noting that the quiet, intense individual clearly came to win, locals at Gelman’s Tap reported…
COLUMBUS, OH—Saying he hadn’t taken any of the recommended precautions despite a heat index expected to top 100…
HOUSTON—Exhausted from her 16-hour shift of failing to meet an already very low bar of behavioral norms, local woman…
EL PASO, TX—Recalling the difficulty she once had standing up straight as she carried her textbooks and supplies…
DAYTON, OH—A wave of nostalgia and dirty toilet water rushing over them, old classmates attending a reunion at…
SARASOTA, FL—As the sudden appearance of his ancestors drew the bird several feet closer to the Boeing 747’s…
CHICAGO—Saying he had long ago developed the skills necessary to keep his rental properties one inspection away from…
NEW YORK—Expressing his intention to spare no expense during his stay at New York–Presbyterian Hospital, wealthy…
MISSOULA, MT—Despite extensive evidence collected over the course of the evening, a study conducted Wednesday was…
ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, IL—Describing the serene smile that spread across the 87-year-old’s face, sources reported that…
HARRISBURG, PA—Stressing that they began researching their options before she was even born, local parents Jen and…
This tiny house offers an economical alternative to larger, more expensive mausoleums that might be too much space…
CHICAGO—Stewing in envy as it observed its adjacent neighbor, local big toe Stubs McPherson told reporters Tuesday…
POCATELLO, ID—Still surging ahead at full speed after 48 hours without sleep, local man Henry Britto spoke quickly…