SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLFans React To Aaron Rodgers Spreading Conspiracy TheoriesThe Jets quarterback has recently faced backlash for controversial remarks on the 9/11 terror attacks, Covid…PublishedMarch 15, 2024
SportsFootballSportsFootballPatrick Mahomes Already Busy Working On Upgrading FamilyLAS VEGAS—Setting to work on rebuilding immediately after his dramatic victory in Super Bowl LVIII, Kansas City…PublishedFebruary 12, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLChiefs Pour Vat Of Hot Fryer Grease Over Andy ReidLAS VEGAS—Following a longstanding team tradition, members of the Kansas City Chiefs celebrated their Super Bowl…PublishedFebruary 11, 2024
SportsFootballSportsFootballAnother Field Goal Blocked By Cirque Du Soleil Performers Doing Acrobatics On Goal PostLAS VEGAS—Noting that the dazzling Super Bowl performances had been fun but largely antithetical to the competition,…PublishedFebruary 11, 2024
SportsFootballSportsFootballChiefs Walk 6 Miles To Game After Bus Driver Refuses To Pay $125 For Stadium ParkingLAS VEGAS—Panicked about their entire team potentially missing kickoff at the Super Bowl, the Kansas City Chiefs…PublishedFebruary 11, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLJackson Mahomes Caught Groping Las Vegas SphereLAS VEGAS—In another major controversy for the social media influencer, 23-year-old Jackson Mahomes was reportedly…PublishedFebruary 11, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLAndy Reid Closes Blinds, Silences Phone Before Eating Arugula And Fig SaladLAS VEGAS—Ensuring total privacy for his sumptuous meal, Kansas City Chiefs coach Andy Reid reportedly closed his…PublishedFebruary 11, 2024
SportsFootballSportsFootballBest Prop Bets For Super Bowl LVIIIWhy spend your hard-earned money on your family when you could piss it away on trivial bets totally unrelated to…PublishedFebruary 9, 2024
SportsFootballSportsFootballHow Much Do You Know About The Kansas City Chiefs?Test your knowledge of one of the winningest football franchises in recent history by passing this quiz on the…PublishedFebruary 9, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLHow Much Do You Know About The San Francisco 49ers?In honor of the obscure NFL team that made it to the Super Bowl, take The Onion’s quiz to test your knowledge of the…PublishedFebruary 8, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLThe Onion Celebrates Andy Reid: One Of The Greatest Minds In The History Of LunchGLENDALE, AZ—Calling timeout and coming to the aid of the team’s visibly ailing head coach during Super Bowl LVII,…PublishedFebruary 7, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFL‘Fox NFL Sunday’ Producers Worried Broadcast Doesn’t Feature Enough 50-To-90-Year-Old Men Standing AwkwardlyLOS ANGELES—As they weighed making major changes to the show, producers for Fox NFL Sunday confirmed Monday they…PublishedJanuary 22, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLRobert Kraft Announces Jerod Mayo Hire Mid-Happy EndingPublishedJanuary 12, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLBob Kraft: ‘We’re Already Searching Through Insane Asylums For A Possible Belichick Replacement’FOXBOROUGH, MA—While paying tribute to the departing coach’s 24 seasons and six titles, New England Patriots owner…PublishedJanuary 11, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLThe Onion Looks Back On Bill Belichick’s 24,000-Year Reign Of DarknessFull article.PublishedJanuary 11, 2024
SportsFootballSportsFootballJames Webb Telescope Finds Evidence Of Packers Secondary Lined Up 20 Million Light Years Off ReceiversPublishedDecember 18, 2023
SportsFootballSportsFootballSilhouette Of Chainsaw, Blowtorch Visible Through NFL Injury TentFOXBOROUGH, MA—Noting that whatever was happening to the injured New England Patriots player could not be good,…PublishedDecember 18, 2023
SportsFootballSportsFootballTony Romo Hauntingly Predicts Exact Time And Place Of Jim Nantz’s DeathEAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Stunning viewers with his prophetic commentary, Tony Romo predicted on air Sunday the exact…PublishedDecember 11, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLMac Jones Reveals He Called Tom Brady To Discuss Never Calling Tom Brady AgainFOXBOROUGH, MA—Sharing details about a recent conversation with the former New England field general, Patriots…PublishedNovember 17, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLMan Flips Between Quarterback Being Best Ever, Worst Ever 386 Times In Single PlayCHESWICK, PA—His mind racing as he watched his hometown Pittsburgh Steelers play on television, local man Troy…PublishedNovember 2, 2023