SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLFans React To Aaron Rodgers Spreading Conspiracy TheoriesThe Jets quarterback has recently faced backlash for controversial remarks on the 9/11 terror attacks, Covid…PublishedMarch 15, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLChiefs Pour Vat Of Hot Fryer Grease Over Andy ReidLAS VEGAS—Following a longstanding team tradition, members of the Kansas City Chiefs celebrated their Super Bowl…PublishedFebruary 11, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLJackson Mahomes Caught Groping Las Vegas SphereLAS VEGAS—In another major controversy for the social media influencer, 23-year-old Jackson Mahomes was reportedly…PublishedFebruary 11, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLAndy Reid Closes Blinds, Silences Phone Before Eating Arugula And Fig SaladLAS VEGAS—Ensuring total privacy for his sumptuous meal, Kansas City Chiefs coach Andy Reid reportedly closed his…PublishedFebruary 11, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLHow Much Do You Know About The San Francisco 49ers?In honor of the obscure NFL team that made it to the Super Bowl, take The Onion’s quiz to test your knowledge of the…PublishedFebruary 8, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLThe Onion Celebrates Andy Reid: One Of The Greatest Minds In The History Of LunchGLENDALE, AZ—Calling timeout and coming to the aid of the team’s visibly ailing head coach during Super Bowl LVII,…PublishedFebruary 7, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFL‘Fox NFL Sunday’ Producers Worried Broadcast Doesn’t Feature Enough 50-To-90-Year-Old Men Standing AwkwardlyLOS ANGELES—As they weighed making major changes to the show, producers for Fox NFL Sunday confirmed Monday they…PublishedJanuary 22, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLRobert Kraft Announces Jerod Mayo Hire Mid-Happy EndingPublishedJanuary 12, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLBob Kraft: ‘We’re Already Searching Through Insane Asylums For A Possible Belichick Replacement’FOXBOROUGH, MA—While paying tribute to the departing coach’s 24 seasons and six titles, New England Patriots owner…PublishedJanuary 11, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLThe Onion Looks Back On Bill Belichick’s 24,000-Year Reign Of DarknessFull article.PublishedJanuary 11, 2024
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLMac Jones Reveals He Called Tom Brady To Discuss Never Calling Tom Brady AgainFOXBOROUGH, MA—Sharing details about a recent conversation with the former New England field general, Patriots…PublishedNovember 17, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLMan Flips Between Quarterback Being Best Ever, Worst Ever 386 Times In Single PlayCHESWICK, PA—His mind racing as he watched his hometown Pittsburgh Steelers play on television, local man Troy…PublishedNovember 2, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLLopsided Fantasy Trade Offer Forces Man To Reconsider How Friend Must Perceive HimCONCORD, NC—Explaining that the proposal completely upended his previous understanding of their friendship, a…PublishedOctober 30, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLModern-Day Mother Teresa Waits For Player On Stretcher To Give Thumbs-Up Before Considering Fantasy ImplicationsSTERLING HEIGHTS, MI—Demonstrating a level of selflessness and compassion for his fellow human that was worthy of…PublishedOctober 23, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLTravis Kelce Delivers Inspiring Halftime Speech About What Sex With Taylor Swift LikeKANSAS CITY, MO—In an effort to rally his teammates, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce reportedly delivered…PublishedOctober 23, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLFrustrated Robert Kraft Wishes There Were Somewhere He Could Go To Relieve Tension Of Patriots SeasonBOSTON—Expressing his frustration with the franchise’s 1-5 start, New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft told…PublishedOctober 20, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLESPN’S ‘NFL Live’ Spends Full 10-Minute Segment Meticulously Breaking Down Player Running In A Straight Line For 3 YardsBRISTOL, CT—Viewers of the nation’s leading sports network were treated to a brilliant display of analysis Monday…PublishedOctober 2, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLMatt Eberflus Blames Justin Fields’ Struggles On Incompetent CoachingCHICAGO—Following the quarterback’s poor performance through the team’s first two games, Chicago Bears coach Matt…PublishedSeptember 22, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLNFL Introduces New Helmet Designed To Protect Players’ WivesNEW YORK—Attributing the move to its need to address a long-standing safety concern, the NFL introduced a new helmet…PublishedSeptember 21, 2023
SportsFootballNFLSportsFootballNFLBijan Robinson Hailed As Generational Talent Who Will Be Out Of League In 3 YearsBRISTOL, CT—Following a standout week-two performance in which the rookie put up 172 combined rushing and receiving…PublishedSeptember 19, 2023