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The Tesla and SpaceX CEO has frequently stated that smart people need to procreate. The Onion asked women to explain why the hell they would want to have Elon Musk’s babies, and this is what they said.
The Tesla and SpaceX CEO has frequently stated that smart people need to procreate. The Onion asked women to explain why the hell they would want to have Elon Musk’s babies, and this is what they said.
“Court-ordered child support is the only way his employees get paid.”
“I wasn’t loved enough as a child, so that causes me to be attracted to and seek validation from narcissistic psychopaths.”
“So I can say I aborted Elon Musk’s kids.”
“For the same reason as Elon: to perpetuate the white race.”
“I want a kid who looks like a Cybertruck.”
“What I specifically said was ‘I want to take Elon Musk’s children away from him.’”
“I’ve always wanted a child with luscious black hair plugs.”
“Bet I could get a free Tesla out of it.”
“It’s the only way he’ll let me go free.”
“It’s sort of my dream to collect a baby from every billionaire.”
“There’s a lot of societal pressure to have Elon Musk’s kids.”
“I LOVE Mr. Elon Musk, he is so SEXY and AMAZING! Check out my website <3: bit.ly/sz43423ia/2212/fgg.”
“Because every baby I have with him will dilute the fortunes of Grimes’ kids.”
“I want my kids to have claim to the Martian throne after the colony is established.”
“You have to have someone’s babies. It’s the law.”
“I want him to stop calling me his ‘potential vessel’ and just call me his ‘vessel.’”
“I’m 77 years old. It’s now or never.”
“I won a work raffle, and the prize was his twins.”
“I’m quite confident that our child will grow up to be the false prophet who will finally bring about the apocalypse foretold in the Book of Revelation.”
“We can’t let Nick Cannon win.”
“He promised me $50 if I had his child. Fifty dollars—can you imagine the kind of things you could do with that money?”
“He bought the sperm bank and now it’s all they’re allowed to carry.”