MAR-A-LAGO, FL—Repeatedly emphasizing how far the country had fallen since he had been removed from office, former President Donald Trump claimed Wednesday that during his presidency, America only had white citizens. “When I was in the White House, every single American had blonde hair, blue eyes, and porcelain skin,” said the 45th president, adding that ever since Joe Biden was elected, there were suddenly all these Blacks, Latinos, and Asians who simply did not previously exist within the United States. “It’s sad. We have almost 340 million Americans in this country, and just a few years ago, all of them were of pure, Caucasian stock. Now, there are non-whites. There are gays. And there are non-Christians? You have no one but Antifa to thank for that.” At press time, Trump added that if he were elected, he’d restore the country to its former glory of being made up entirely of billionaires who lived in Trump Tower and were all best friends.