Biden’s Approval Rating Skyrockets After Announcing He Taking Nation To The Circus
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What Biden Can Do To Win Over Gen Z

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Although the youth vote was integral in his victory against Donald Trump in the 2020 election, Joe Biden’s approval ratings have tanked amongst 18-to-27-year-olds. If President Biden is interested in winning back Gen Z voters, he’ll have to do the following things.

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Transfer College Debt To Boomers

Transfer College Debt To Boomers

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Forgiving loans is great, but Biden can also shift billions in debt to smug older Americans who didn’t have to deal with this shit.

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Bomb The Fuck Out Of Lithuania

Bomb The Fuck Out Of Lithuania

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Who knows why Gen Z has so much beef with this small Baltic nation? What matters is that Gen Z wants it erased.

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​Smooth As Silk Moonwalk

​Smooth As Silk Moonwalk

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Timeless. Everyone’s gonna love that one.

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Develop A Fursona

Develop A Fursona

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A charming blue fox Biden could be the key to mobilizing the most powerful force on the internet.

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Cover Their Shift On Friday

Cover Their Shift On Friday

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It’s their birthday, and nobody should have to work on their birthday.

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Allow Them To Grow Older And More Disillusioned

Allow Them To Grow Older And More Disillusioned

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Letting the world wring the idealism from them should make it easier for Gen Z to stomach a man who, in any other context but an American presidential election, is an unrepentant monster.

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Die While Attempting A Kick-Flip

Die While Attempting A Kick-Flip

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This would probably sway at least a few youngsters.

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Melt Into A Puddle Of Slow-Steeped Nitro Cold Brew They Can Sip Through A Reusable Straw

Melt Into A Puddle Of Slow-Steeped Nitro Cold Brew They Can Sip Through A Reusable Straw

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The youth love cold brew, maybe even more than they love saving the environment.

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Drop Out Of The Race Citing Anxiety

Drop Out Of The Race Citing Anxiety

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Resigning due to anxiety would endear Biden to many young voters.

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Bring Back Lead Paint

Bring Back Lead Paint

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Bringing Gen Z to a similar level of lead-poisoning-based cognitive decline will help to bridge the gap with older generations.

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More Statements Belittling Their Concerns About Genocide

More Statements Belittling Their Concerns About Genocide

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It hasn’t quite gotten through to Gen Z that their morals don’t matter to this administration, so the press releases need to come quicker.

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Appoint MrBeast Secretary Of Agriculture

Appoint MrBeast Secretary Of Agriculture

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The thought of watching American farmers attempt to escape a giant maze in order to receive subsidies will surely please the youth vote.

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Serenade Them With A Performance Of ‘La Vie En Rose’

Serenade Them With A Performance Of ‘La Vie En Rose’

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Nothing will win over the hearts of Gen Z like a touching acoustic rendition of Edith Piaf’s signature 1947 love song.

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Take Them To Dave & Buster’s

Take Them To Dave & Buster’s

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Everyone loves Dave & Buster’s!

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Become An Entirely Different Candidate

Become An Entirely Different Candidate

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All he has to do is refocus his efforts onto being a much younger, more progressive person with a completely different track record.

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Claim Marriage To Jill Biden Is A Situationship

Claim Marriage To Jill Biden Is A Situationship

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Commitment is for baby boomers and the elderly. It’s time for Biden to change his relationship status with his doting wife to a situationship so he can truly understand what it’s like to be Gen Z.

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Self-Diagnose Himself With ADHD

Self-Diagnose Himself With ADHD

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He does have trouble staying focused on campaign promises.

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You’ve Made It This Far...

You’ve Made It This Far...

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