Single Woman Seated At Wedding’s Dessert Table

Image for article titled Single Woman Seated At Wedding’s Dessert Table

SANTA BARBARA, CA—Locating her place card at a wedding reception last weekend, area single woman Hattie Roberts, 32, reportedly found herself seated at the dessert table. “Oh, hey, nice—looks like they decided to stick me at the fun table,” said the dateless Roberts, who, after glancing across the room toward tables filled with her coupled-up college friends, proceeded to make the acquaintance of the three-tiered buttercream cake, fruit tartlets, and French macarons that would evidently be her company for the evening. “So, none of you came here with anybody either, huh? Well, that doesn’t mean you won’t be leaving with someone—I’m looking at you, chocolate-covered strawberry! No, but I think some of us have actually met before, at the bride’s birthday party—or, sorry, that was probably a different cake. Well, may I just say that you all look great. I have a feeling we’re going to be on the dance floor together by the end of the night.” A press time, Roberts was seen dragging a red velvet cupcake into the photo booth.