CINCINNATI—Confirming that the enlightening weekend experience had left her with “a total change of heart,” J.K. Rowling announced Thursday that she was no longer transphobic after attending the Cincinnati Pride Parade and Festival and winning a free cell phone charger from the booth of a bisexual real estate agent. “I got to spin a big wheel, and it landed on ‘prize,’ and this was the prize,” said the Harry Potter author, who excitedly held up the iClick-brand promotional USB cord for reporters to see as she gushed about how enlivening and eye-opening she found the event. “A lot of the things I’ve said in the past were very harmful to the transgender community, and I know that now thanks to my new friend Tam, who gave me some really great quotes on condominiums in the greater Cincinnati area—plus, a charger! It’s off-brand, but I don’t care. It was free! Isn’t that neat?” At press time, J.K. Rowling announced she was now biphobic after the phone charger caught on fire.