OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorialPlease Help The Onion Meet Its Click Drive Goal Of 10 Trillion Clicks Before MidnightReaders:PublishedApril 10, 2024
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorialHelp Slow The Demise Of Media With The Onion’s Annual Click DriveBack when it was a great, respected, and profitable business, journalism employed thousands of reporters who worked…PublishedApril 10, 2024
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorial‘The Onion’ Stands With Israel Because It Seems Like You Get In Less Trouble For ThatThe past week has shown humanity at its worst: A horrific terrorist attack left at least 1,300 Israelis dead, among…PublishedOctober 13, 2023
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorialIt Is Journalism’s Sacred Duty To Endanger The Lives Of As Many Trans People As PossibleThe task of reporting is not a simple one. Each and every day, reporters and editors at publications like The Onion…PublishedFebruary 17, 2023
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorial‘The Onion’ Has Accidentally Locked Ourselves Out Of Our Office In Solidarity With Striking ‘New York Times’ WorkersToday, reporters and editors of The New York Times began a one-day strike, as negotiations between their union and…PublishedDecember 8, 2022
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorialBREAKING: ‘The Onion’ Has Purchased A 0.000000125% Stake In Twitter And Is Demanding A Seat On The BoardIn an unprecedented move certain to bring the entire tech industry to its knees, The Onion proudly announces this…PublishedApril 21, 2022
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorialIt’s Been 11 Minutes Since The Onion Was Banned From Twitter. So Why Isn’t The Mainstream Media Covering This?A darkness has fallen upon the Fourth Estate. It is a darkness only seen after a nation’s sole beacon of…PublishedApril 21, 2022
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorialIn Defense Of Mass CensorshipWhen The Onion’s editorial board convened to discuss the tumultuous events of the previous month, one conclusion…PublishedMarch 18, 2022
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorialBREAKING: ‘The Onion’ Has Obtained The IRS Tax Form 1040The duty of a free press has always been to provide readers with a comprehensive and unvarnished picture of the…PublishedSeptember 28, 2020
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorial‘The Onion’ Has Chosen To Publish An Anonymous Op-Ed From Two Sources Close To Trump Who Think Their Dad Is The Best President EverToday, The Onion is making an unusual editorial decision, and we want to explain why. As turmoil continues to…PublishedSeptember 6, 2018
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorial‘The Onion’ Proudly Stands With The Media As The Enemy Of The PeopleIn recent days, President Donald Trump has increased his criticism of the media, and at a briefing Thursday, his…PublishedAugust 2, 2018
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorialCowardly Michael Cohen Chooses To Betray President, Go To Prison Rather Than Meet Face-To-Face With ‘The Onion’The Onion holds the virtues of integrity, courage, and accountability above all others, and after more than two…PublishedJune 14, 2018
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorialIn Response To Michael Cohen, ‘The Onion’ Pledges To Remove All Negative Trump Coverage In Exchange For A Direct Line To The PresidentThe Onion, in recent days, has attempted to contend with a serious legal threat issued in 2013 by the president’s…PublishedMay 22, 2018
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorial‘The Onion’ Has Finally Read Michael Cohen’s 2013 Email Regarding His Client Donald Trump And Would Like To Discuss The Matter Further At His ConvenienceIn a free press, journalists must expose the truth even if it upsets those in power. Our work often leads to…PublishedMay 21, 2018
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorial‘The Onion’ Invites Republican Candidate Greg Gianforte To Physically Assault Our Entire Editorial StaffGiven the important policies they oversee and the highly public nature of their work, it is to be expected that our…PublishedMay 25, 2017
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorialThe Onion Humbly Offers Up Its Offices To Imprison The Women Who Have Wrongfully Accused Donald TrumpIn recent weeks, a dozen women have come forward alleging that presidential nominee Donald J. Trump made unwanted…PublishedOctober 25, 2016
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorial‘The Onion’ Has Obtained Donald Trump’s Tax Returns And Has Chosen To Destroy ThemOur country stands at a pivotal inflection point, just five weeks out from a presidential election with…PublishedOctober 4, 2016
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorial‘The Onion’ Vows To Carry On Iran’s Nuclear Weapons Program Until The Job Is DoneYesterday, a group of high-ranking world leaders met in Geneva and brokered a six-month deal to limit the nuclear…PublishedNovember 25, 2013
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorial‘The Onion’ Encourages Israel And Palestine Not To Give A Single, Goddamn InchAs the ongoing conflict between Israelis and Palestinians once again threatens to intensify, the international…PublishedAugust 13, 2013
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorial‘The Onion’ Salutes Our Friend Mahmoud Ahmadinejad On A Job Well DoneAfter eight terrific, groundbreaking, and unforgettable years at the helm of his nation’s government, Iranian…PublishedAugust 6, 2013