OpinionCommentaryPoint/CounterpointOpinionCommentaryPoint/CounterpointPoint/Counterpoint: Hillary Clinton Is Polling Ahead Of Joe Biden vs. Did Somebody Say Hillary Clinton?For Joe Biden, the next few days will be a make or break moment for his campaign. After a bad debate performance,…PublishedJuly 9, 2024
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorialPlease Help The Onion Meet Its Click Drive Goal Of 10 Trillion Clicks Before MidnightReaders:PublishedApril 10, 2024
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorialHelp Slow The Demise Of Media With The Onion’s Annual Click DriveBack when it was a great, respected, and profitable business, journalism employed thousands of reporters who worked…PublishedApril 10, 2024
OpinionCommentaryOpinionCommentaryHo, Ho, Ho! I Started Dating Mrs. Claus When She Was 14!By Santa ClausPublishedDecember 25, 2023
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorial‘The Onion’ Stands With Israel Because It Seems Like You Get In Less Trouble For ThatThe past week has shown humanity at its worst: A horrific terrorist attack left at least 1,300 Israelis dead, among…PublishedOctober 13, 2023
OpinionCommentaryOpinionCommentaryI Decided To Become A Slave So One Day My Descendants Could Steal College Admissions SpotsBy Cicero ThompsonPublishedJune 29, 2023
OpinionCommentaryOpinionCommentaryAlso, I Shouldn’t Have To Disclose That I Had Sex With A SalmonBy Samuel AlitoPublishedJune 22, 2023
OpinionCommentaryOpinionCommentaryIf Pigs Are So Smart, Why Won’t They Debate Me?By Charles StewartPublishedMay 19, 2023
OpinionCommentaryOpinionCommentaryAmerica Is An Out-Of-Touch Gerontocracy, And I’m Glad I Don’t Live ThereBy Dianne FeinsteinPublishedMay 12, 2023
OpinionCommentaryOpinionCommentaryWe Are Post-Pandemic. We Are Immortal. Those Still Alive Cannot Die.By Dr. Anthony FauciPublishedMay 4, 2023
OpinionCommentaryOpinionCommentaryWhat I Got Right About The Iraq WarBy Dick CheneyPublishedMarch 21, 2023
OpinionCommentaryOpinionCommentaryI Am No Longer A Feminist After Watching Some YouTube VideosBy Malala YousafzaiPublishedMarch 8, 2023
OpinionCommentaryOpinionCommentaryThe Misogyny Interwoven Into Our Patriarchal Society Harms Men, TooBy Andrew TatePublishedMarch 8, 2023
OpinionCommentaryOpinionCommentaryWe Need A Woman On Top Of The White HouseBy Erica NelsonPublishedMarch 8, 2023
OpinionCommentaryEditorialOpinionCommentaryEditorialIt Is Journalism’s Sacred Duty To Endanger The Lives Of As Many Trans People As PossibleThe task of reporting is not a simple one. Each and every day, reporters and editors at publications like The Onion…PublishedFebruary 17, 2023
OpinionCommentaryOpinionCommentaryOne Time I Was In England And I Was A Prince And My Mom Was Diana And She Died And My Family Is Mean And My Wife Is Brown And I’m Sorry I Wore A NaziBy Prince HarryPublishedJanuary 13, 2023
OpinionCommentaryOpinionCommentaryShrugs, Not HugsA Room Of Jean’s Own — By Jean TeasdalePublishedJanuary 12, 2023
OpinionCommentaryOpinionCommentaryHo, Ho, Ho, A Cabal Of Elite Pedophiles Is Trying To Kill Me!By Santa ClausPublishedDecember 21, 2022