MILWAUKEE—In fiery remarks made aboard his private jet as he traveled to Wisconsin for the Republican National Convention, a defiant Donald Trump ridiculed his would-be assassin Monday, calling the individual a “horse-faced slut.” “Let me be clear, the shooter was a total fuggo who no one would fuck with a 10-foot pole,” said Trump, adding that the shooter was at best a three. “These busted freaks may try to hold me down, but I will always rise above the butterfaces and prevail. Heed my words: The shooter is absolutely not my type and will never be my type.” At press time, Trump had offered his condolences to the other shooting victims and their families, saying it was not fair for anyone to be attacked by such a nasty, unfuckable monster.