Things People Hate The Most About Democratic Fundraising Emails

MoveOn doesn’t seem to give a fuck that you had surgery last week.

There’s a reason why the Nigerian prince was so successful.

Speaker Pelosi, watch your mouth.

People are tired of accidentally deleting Barry’s game night thread while trying to clean up their inboxes.

It’s starting to feel pretty one-sided.

In addition to being annoying, a fundraising email causing your phone to ping as you cower in a closet while holding your breath is another reason to hate the Democrats.

Oh, what the fuck?

If there aren’t at least 10 in the subject line, who is even going to click?

After losing everything to back McConnell’s 2020 challenger who never really had a shot, the last thing you want to see is another request for money.

It takes a lot of time and effort to craft thoughtful responses.

Americans would be far more likely to donate to Democrats if they promised most of it would go to Republicans.

We would remember to donate if they asked more.

Even if it does tug at your heartstrings, Democrats should think twice before sending you a photo of the beloved matriarch of your family in a hospital bed.

This is not only ineffective but also tacky.

Even though they always say it’s the last time, party leaders are always begging for more of your child’s freshly harvested adrenochrome.

Though traditionally included in the first paragraph of all fundraising emails, many readers question whether this part is necessary.

No tips on how to summon electricity from the sky, just Steny Hoyer asking for a quick buck.

It’s annoying to sift through all the donation requests from random politicians to get to the expired coupons from random companies.

You know what you have to do, so just do it.