Skeptical Doctor Asks Woman Flattened By Steamroller To Rate Pain

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DETROIT—In an effort to determine if she was overreacting to her injuries, skeptical physician Wayne Mahomes asked his patient Megan Wensberg, who was flattened by a steamroller this week, to rate her pain. “Now, realistically, on a scale of one to 10, with one being no pain and 10 being the worst pain possible, what would you say your pain level is from being pancaked by a 15-ton piece of machinery?” said Mahomes, explaining that the injuries the woman sustained from being crushed under the giant metal roller going over her body at 8 miles per hour would probably be more of a tolerable “comes and goes” kind of pain, rather than a constant, throbbing agony. “To be honest, you don’t look that flat to me, so a great deal of the pain you’re experiencing could just be from the waning shock of having every organ and bone in your body smashed against the asphalt. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were back to normal after a few days of rest and decompressing.” Mahomes added that he could prescribe Wensberg extra-strength Tylenol for the pain, but expressed concerns that the medication might cause stomach cramps.