Power Outage Forces Father To Chug All Milk In Fridge While Rest Of Family Watches

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CLEVELAND—A loss of electrical power following a severe storm in the metropolitan area reportedly forced local father Allen Hardy to chug all the milk in the fridge Friday while the rest of the family watched. According to sources, the 48-year-old father was seen standing in front of the fridge holding the two half-gallon containers high in the air, his head tilted back as the confluence of 2% reduced-fat milk cascaded into his open mouth. Seated around the kitchen table were Hardy’s wife, 42-year-old Kelly Hardy, as well as his three children, 13-year-old Riley Hardy, 8-year-old Jack Hardy, and 4-year-old Henry Hardy, whose faces betrayed not a single thought nor feeling as they silently observed the patriarch of the household fling another drained plastic jug to the linoleum floor. At press time, sources confirmed Hardy’s family was watching silently as he collapsed onto his hands and knees and began heaving.