PARIS—In an effort to crack down on rampant sexual activity in the Olympic Village, the International Olympic Committee has outfitted beds for the 2024 Summer Games with athletes’ grandparents, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Officials hope the presence of the athletes’ own grandmothers and grandfathers in their beds taking a nap, doing a crossword puzzle, or browsing Facebook on their iPads will work as a deterrent to sex,” said a source, who disputed IOC claims that the presence of grandparents was simply part of the organization’s sustainability efforts and served to keep the beds nice and warm without relying on central heating systems. “It’s a rather brilliant plan, as each grandparent will work as a deterrent in their own special way. Some will have socially conservative attitudes regarding premarital sex, which will result in shaming and disapproval, and some grandparents might even be dead. With this in mind, Olympians will have no choice but to focus on their athletic performances.” At press time, Olympic Games organizers were reportedly horrified after discovering all of the athletes’ grandparents engaging in a massive orgy.