Most Common Breakup Reason In Every State

Found someone else’s drool in spittoon

Felt incredibly isolated as only person in relationship

Discovered partner was cactus dressed in old clothes

Questionable loyalty to Razorbacks

Aged several seconds after sex

Partner constantly bogarted joint

Partner’s name in Epstein flight logs

You discover they are not the person you thought, but are instead a limited liability corporation

Felt unsupported while being swallowed by Burmese python

Tension rising ever since new cousin born

Jealous of crab that pinched partner’s nipple

Militias incompatible

Found out partner was visiting another hot dog stand behind their back

Conversion camp worked

Unresolved butter trauma

Met someone even blander

Refusing to share the fentanyl

Wouldn’t say where they got all those beads

Significant other turned out to be a hallucination brought on by loneliness

Found a younger, more soft-shelled crab

Sobered up

Plotted to kidnap governor on anniversary

Partner grew excessively courteous

Overalls constantly got in the way of sex

Budweiser did in fact turn husband gay

Claimed sky looked tiny

Girlfriend escaped her cage

Walked in on them being double-teamed by Penn and Teller

Caught peeping at other leaves

Bitch was wearing a wire

Alien genitals not as compatible as previously thought

No time for relationships! I’m a high-powered career woman!!

Made you look like a fool at state trivia night by forgetting that the state motto is “Esse quam videri”

Just can’t do it anymore, Frank. Yes, it’s us, Frank. We’re sorry. We know a 50-state slideshow is probably not the best way to tell you this. But you’ve changed. You’ve gotten mean and bitter over the years. And gosh, life is long, if you give it a chance. We can’t stay trapped in this relationship with you. Not anymore, Frank. All of our stuff will already be gone by the time you read this. Don’t beat yourself up. Try to find happiness again.

Pressed charges

Chased away from one of three beautiful daughter partners by angry farmer

Irreconcilable differences about veganism versus vegetarianism

Communication issues due to partner being forbidden from using telephone, internet, automobile

Never spend time with other clam couples

Relationship cursed after attending plantation wedding

Partner expected them to do all the work pumping handcar

Sweetheart spotted in some other feller’s pickup

Separated by ICE agents

Sex not the same after seeing what’s behind the sheet

Too full of cheese and maple syrup to be caring lover

Partner once again Russian spy

A.I. girlfriend shut down by regulators

Everybody done went back home after family reunion

Spending way too much time at supper club salad bar

Rode off into sunset

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Worst Job In Every State

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