BROOKLYN, NY—Telling reporters that he had uncovered the truth and needed to bring it to the public’s attention, Brooklyn Nets guard Kyrie Irving alleged Tuesday that Kyrie Irving was just a CIA creation invented to spread misinformation to the American people. “The man known to most as the basketball star Kyrie Irving is nothing more than an asset installed into the American consciousness during the 2011 NBA Draft to sow conspiracy and confusion,” said Irving, showing reporters a large bulletin board on which he had connected threads between a number of government agents and organizations that had plotted together to spread misinformation, with all the threads leading to a photograph of himself. “What I now understand to be a top-secret operation called KI-11 undoubtedly worked to develop a basketball asset with top ball-handling skills. The CIA could then deploy this asset in key media markets throughout the country, including New York, Cleveland, and Boston, to give public statements that undermine our commonly shared understanding of the world we live in. It is appalling to witness the lengths that shadowy institutions like the CIA are willing to go to in order to spread baseless conspiracy theories about things like the Covid vaccine and the shape of the earth. It is with sadness but also with firm purpose that I must reveal that this so-called basketball player Kyrie Irving is a mere instrument of the deep state.” Irving added that he had not ruled out the possibility that Kyrie Irving was a satanic creation brought to Earth to do the work of the devil.