CANTON, MS—Calling the likely FDA approval of the Covid-19 vaccine an important first step, local vaccine skeptic Martin Graham announced Monday that he still would not be receiving a jab “until it passes the CDC, DCC, CCD, FAD, AFD, FDA, BIA, AIB, BFI, FIB, FBI” and all other combinations of three letters to better ensure that what’s in it is truly safe. “The CDC wants you to believe that they have all the answers, but I’m curious as to what the DCC, AUD, and IUD have to say as well,” said Graham, 53, adding that if the FCS, XQJ, or SUV were also set to rule on the safety and effectiveness of the inoculations this week, “then that would be a whole different story.” “I’m tired of everyone taking the WHO and FDA at their word, when we aren’t seeing the research carried out by, say, the MLS—let alone agencies we know and trust like the MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL. For instance, what does the head of the CSI think of it? Is it even on their radar yet? I tell you what—give me a call when the CIA, CSI, MLM, CCC, DDD, DDS, BIB, NIB, LIN, WQH, XYZ, PPE, SAM, HAT, LLC, LOL, FIG, SNI, SNL, MOM, CVC, FMS, XMI, LAN, NLA, SAU, FSU, OMG, GMO, ENL, WUI, ZZZ, CFO, KLO, PQR, GNC, DND, JHJ, STD, BUB, WEL, VIV, NIN, VHS, RFT, DOC, PDF, HUM, SKO, HIU, UUT, FML, DRB, CCT, MEK, BIL, UTW, and the GMT all grant their blessing, and I’ll run out and get the shot as fast as you can say TTV.” At press time, Graham dutifully crossed out the FDA from his master list of 17,576 organizations he was waiting to hear from.