IRVINE, CA—After enduring the long wait for a chance to indulge in culinary pleasure, local woman Carissa Walder reportedly used her diet cheat day this week on an entire bag of croutons. “I’ll have just one, and then I’ll put the bag away,” said Walder, who immediately walked back on the promise by pouring a small pile of the store-brand toasted bread pieces into the palm of her hand and carrying the 3,900-calorie package with her to the sofa. “I thought maybe I would use cheat day tomorrow on a spiced-pear turnover from my favorite bakery, but honestly, these are just as delicious, whatever flavor they are. I’m trying to savor every jagged crumb.” At press time, sources confirmed Walder was raiding the pantry for bacon bits.