BRECKSVILLE, OH—Eagerly learning what experts were saying about the player for the fourth straight day, area baseball fan Ryan Silva remained incredibly excited for a first-round draft pick he’ll never hear about again, sources confirmed Thursday. “I couldn’t be happier that we got Chase DeLauter—this guy is the real deal,” Silva said of the Cleveland Guardians’ first-round pick and 16th overall selection in the 2022 Major League Baseball draft, a player whom Silva had never heard of before July 17 and who will fade completely from his memory in two days, whereafter the outfielder will bounce around single-A ball for three years before ultimately calling it quits. “The scouts are saying he’s really toolsy and praising his patience at the plate. That’s just what we need, and we absolutely made the right choice here. [FanSided website] Away Back Gone even compared him to Christian Yelich. I can’t wait for his debut—I bet he’s just the missing championship piece we need.” At press time, Silva had turned his attention to the Guardians’ 18th-round pick and begun excitedly searching the internet for scouting reports on a player he had never heard of and who may or may not even exist.