NEW YORK—With the end of the MLB regular season leaving the slugger at 62 home runs, the seventh-most ever in a single year, New York Yankees outfielder Aaron Judge told reporters Thursday that he wished he’d just used performance-enhancing drugs and hit 80 home runs. “Hitting 62 without steroids is pretty sweet and all, but in hindsight, I bet I could’ve hit 80 if I’d been on anabolic steroids the whole time—and I should have been, too,” said Judge, who fell short of Barry Bonds’ single-season record of 73 home runs, as well as Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa’s 63-plus home run seasons—all of which were accomplished while the players allegedly used steroids—adding that he was pretty sure he could’ve beaten those records too. “Knowing that I could come this close without steroids, it feels really stupid to just not have taken them and set the all-time record. What is seventh all-time, really? Who cares about some asterisked, qualified victory? What, I really remained steroid-free just so I can walk around forever explaining to people that, yeah, I hit the most home runs, except for all those other guys, who hit more than me, and some people think those shouldn’t count, but of course they do count, because they happened? What’s the point of that? If I just did fucking steroids, I bet I’d have the real record all to myself. God, it would have felt amazing—not just for me, but for the fans, too, to see some jacked-up hulk swat his 80th home run halfway to the goddamn clouds. Tell me that wouldn’t have been worth it.” At press time, Judge was reportedly putting out feelers to get his hands on some steroids for next season.