Things To Never Say To Someone Who Owns A Tesla

Don’t worry, they’ll inevitably bring this up on their own.

If the driver somehow survives, you’ll be sure to get an earful about the danger of spreading unfounded rumors.

Good. Car will be wife now.

They’ll say they can still have fun even if they’re not gassing up, but it’ll just be kind of awkward for everyone.

Actually, it’s supposed to look like that.

Statistically speaking, there’s a better-than-even chance that Elon Musk has already married and conceived multiple children with whomever you are talking to.

It’s not a competition.

Air quotes won’t hold up in court when tried for attempted murder.

The ride is so smooth that most owners don’t even know they hit a kid until they happen to catch a puddle of blood in the rearview camera.

While that’s nice and all, a toothbrush and light bulbs don’t exactly compare to an $80,000 car.

Just because you time traveled here from the 1890s doesn’t mean everyone has to explain every little thing to you.

You already know the answer.

This may come off as insulting to people whose daddies bought their cars.

Tesla owners hate it when you ask them repeatedly about that feature and absolutely none other.

Tesla owners are famously humble and would really prefer to just drive their car from point A to point B without having to show it off all the time.

To be fair, not all Tesla owners have the same incredible sense of humor as Mr. Musk himself.

This will inevitably send the owner into a fit of blind rage.

Hey, they purchased a Tesla. They deserve whatever happens to them.