Things Never To Say To A Tom Brady Fan

Aside from this being patently false, you’re definitely just trying to upset them.

Seven’s fine, but it’s not exactly eight.

Don’t go too far in comparing the former running back’s incredible on- and off-field work with Tom Brady’s Hertz campaign.

Comparing their favorite player to Hitler is sure to bother anyone, even if Brady eventually comes out on top.

Keeping the conversation centered around Brady’s Super Bowl wins, and not his unwise promotion of cryptocurrency, is generally a good call.

Fans of Brady acknowledge that this is technically true, but would prefer to downplay the connection.

Middle-aged white guys can’t process what you just said but it won’t stop them from saying something sexist and racist.

One of history’s big what-ifs. Brady fans can only dream.

Most Tom Brady fans are holding out hope that he’ll continue to play at least into his ’90s.

Shut up, nerd!

Many fans are sensitive to the fact that he’s old and decrepit.

There’s simply too many to count.

Good sentiment but wrong conversation.

This point is a sore spot for Brady fans who lament the fact he’s never suffered from scurvy in his life.

What else is he gonna do?

Say this and you’ll have most Tom Brady fans singing the blues.

Before dating a Brady fan, seriously consider whether you want to always be second place to the Buccaneers quarterback.

Tom Brady fans just can’t choose between his most exciting eight-yard completions.

For the third straight year, he didn’t come to Gronk’s birthday and it just crushed him.

Great, now they’re in motion.

Worth a try just to see if you can irritate one of these people for a while.

Cram it, historians!

Brady fans hate being reminded of the old crone’s curse.

His fans hate to admit this, but Tom Brady is a really stupid name compared to Joe “The Comeback Kid” Montana.

Shows you have no idea what you’re talking about.

You didn’t mention his name, did you? Christ. Welp, hope you’re prepared to get talked at.