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Test Answers That Show How Far Behind American Students Are

Test Answers That Show How Far Behind American Students Are

PublishedJune 26, 2023

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According to the National Assessment of Educational Progress, test scores among American children are the lowest they’ve been in decades, dropping sharply since 2020. The following are real test answers that illustrate just how far the nation’s school system has fallen.

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Q: Ryan has a pie with six pieces. He offers half of them to Lucy. How many does he have left?

Q: Ryan has a pie with six pieces. He offers half of them to Lucy. How many does he have left?

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A: All of them. TikTok videos have given Lucy an eating disorder, and she’s hoping to hit her goal weight of 60 pounds before second grade starts in a few months.

A: All of them. TikTok videos have given Lucy an eating disorder, and she’s hoping to hit her goal weight of 60 pounds before second grade starts in a few months.

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Q: The capital of The United States is ____.

Q: The capital of The United States is ____.

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A: Where my dad and his friends got arrested.

A: Where my dad and his friends got arrested.

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Q: The Earth is how many years old?

Q: The Earth is how many years old?

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A: The correct answer is either 4.5 billion years or 4,000 years depending on which state is administering the test.

A: The correct answer is either 4.5 billion years or 4,000 years depending on which state is administering the test.

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Q: What do the symbols on the American flag stand for?

Q: What do the symbols on the American flag stand for?

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A: The stars represent the 50 states, the stripes represent the 13 original colonies, and the skull represents the Punisher.

A: The stars represent the 50 states, the stripes represent the 13 original colonies, and the skull represents the Punisher.

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Q: How many continents are there?

Q: How many continents are there?

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A: Only, like one and a half that matter.

A: Only, like one and a half that matter.

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Q: If Ben has 25 toy cars and gives 12 to Jim, how many cars will he have left?

Q: If Ben has 25 toy cars and gives 12 to Jim, how many cars will he have left?

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A: Ben is a sucker! Never give away any of your toys.

A: Ben is a sucker! Never give away any of your toys.

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Q: World War II was fought by ____.

Q: World War II was fought by ____.

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A: Good people on both sides.

A: Good people on both sides.

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Q: What are the three branches of the U.S. government?

Q: What are the three branches of the U.S. government?

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A: Judicial, crunchy, and spicy.

A: Judicial, crunchy, and spicy.

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Q: The Emancipation Proclamation freed whom?

Q: The Emancipation Proclamation freed whom?

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A: My Dad says this is a bad question because all those slaves were actually happy that white people civilized them.

A: My Dad says this is a bad question because all those slaves were actually happy that white people civilized them.

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Q: What is America’s national bird?

Q: What is America’s national bird?

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A: The AR-15.

A: The AR-15.

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Q: What do historians consider to be the “original sin” of the United States of America?

Q: What do historians consider to be the “original sin” of the United States of America?

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A: Massachusetts

A: Massachusetts

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Q: Why did Gandhi go on a hunger strike?

Q: Why did Gandhi go on a hunger strike?

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A: He was sick of being cyberbullied for his love handles.

A: He was sick of being cyberbullied for his love handles.

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Q: During a 100-meter backstroke event, if Samantha swims at a speed of 1.34 meters per second and Meghan swims at 1.62 meters per second, by how many seconds will Meghan beat Samantha?

Q: During a 100-meter backstroke event, if Samantha swims at a speed of 1.34 meters per second and Meghan swims at 1.62 meters per second, by how many seconds will Meghan beat Samantha?

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A: Meghan’s genitals must first be checked to ensure she isn’t trans.

A: Meghan’s genitals must first be checked to ensure she isn’t trans.

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Q: If Train A leaves the station at noon going 100 miles per hour and Train B leaves at 1 p.m. going 200 miles per hour, when will Train B catch up to Train A?

Q: If Train A leaves the station at noon going 100 miles per hour and Train B leaves at 1 p.m. going 200 miles per hour, when will Train B catch up to Train A?

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A: High-speed rail is a liberal fantasy.

A: High-speed rail is a liberal fantasy.

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Q: What is mRNA?

Q: What is mRNA?

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A: I don’t know, but I’m mad about it.

A: I don’t know, but I’m mad about it.

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