Professional Athletes’ Opinions On The Covid-19 Vaccine

“Being vaccinated should be a top priority for anyone who wasn’t wealthy enough to get it in May 2020.”

“I’m skeptical. I don’t trust anything they tell me on TV ever since that Tootsie Pop commercial said it only takes three licks to get to the center.”

“Codid-what now?”

“Everyone should get it and then celebrate with a delicious Italian B.M.T. From Subway.”

“I think that with the right preparation, I could take 50 doses in a single hour.”

“I’m honestly an idiot. You shouldn’t listen to anything I say.”

I got vaccinated 700 times to help raise the average number of shots received in my neighborhood. It’s all about doing your part to help bring those stats up.”

“Wooooooooooooo!”

“Nobody should be forced to give up their bodily autonomy at their place of work.”

“Sure, I’ll sign it. $120.”

“There’s so much we don’t know about it yet. Like does it cause brain damage? Could it cause you to be more prone to violence later in your life? It might even cause suicidal thoughts. I would never put my body through something like that.”

“This needless argument is distracting us as a nation from the real issues, like the fact I’m quietly hitting .300 for the first time in years.”

“I encourage all Americans to get whichever vaccine is available to them, whether it’s the ionized water vaccine, bison DNA injection, or a week in the isolation tube.”

“I don’t know what’s in the vaccine, but can one truly know anything?”

“I held off because we play a lot of games outdoors and I would just wear a mask anytime we played an indoor game.”

“I haven’t gotten mine because I only see 50 to 60 other players, their families, the professional staff, and fans twice a week.”

“Not being vaccinated cost me $1.7 million. But being vaccinated lost me the respect of my caddie. So kind of a mixed bag.”

“Of course I got vaccinated. I would never miss an opportunity to get 10% off my next Walgreens purchase.”

“Medicine.”

“It’s too personal for me to discuss. This is a matter between me and my 4.8 million Instagram followers.”

“Why not? I’m already getting my opioids from Johnson & Johnson.”