The Onion Film Standard: John Wick: Chapter 4
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Blockbuster Movies You Never Knew Were Actually Remakes

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2 / 22

Rocketman

Rocketman

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While ostensibly about Elton John, this biopic was actually a nearly identical remake of every other rock star biopic that has ever been made.

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This hugely successful James Cameron movie was a remake of an idea for a movie that you had in 2002. Too bad you never followed through on it.

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4 / 22

King Kong

King Kong

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In 1976, producer Dino De Laurentiis vowed to make the most realistic Kong yet using the best special effects technology available to render Jeff Bridges.

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5 / 22

Eraserhead

Eraserhead

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The 1977 David Lynch film was actually a remake a popular film “—.-.-...—.-” from the planet Rebrevon in the NGC 1300 Galaxy.

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6 / 22

Ocean’s Eleven

Ocean’s Eleven

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It would have been remade sooner, but Hollywood struggled for 41 years to find an actor good-looking enough to play Daniel Ocean.

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Cats

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Not many film fans are aware that the 2019 release of Cats was actually based on a beloved common household pet.

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The Fly

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Legendary director David Cronenberg reportedly decided to remake Jeff Goldblum’s 1986 original merely 30 seconds in when he stood up in a packed theater and yelled, “I can make something better than this garbage.”

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Downhill

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Will Ferrell and Julia Louis-Dreyfus only agreed to do this movie when producers promised them it would be significantly more heavy-handed than Force Majeure.

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10 / 22

Scarface

Scarface

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Identical in nearly every way, Brian De Palma decided to do a shot-for-shot recreation of his own film after realizing he accidentally left a coffee cup in one of the shots.

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11 / 22

Lion King

Lion King

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Digital magicians were able to use computer technology to completely remake the animated version, sucked free of of any possible soul or emotion.

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12 / 22

Fast & Furious 9

Fast & Furious 9

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This is Universal’s eighth attempt at remaking the original.

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13 / 22

The Passion Of The Christ 

The Passion Of The Christ 

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Most audiences were unaware, but the Mel Gibson-directed epic was actually based on a snuff torture film found on the deep web.

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14 / 22

The Heartbreak Kid

The Heartbreak Kid

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The 2007 comedy is so recognizably a Farrelly brothers film it’s hard to believe it’s a remake of something that doesn’t suck shit.

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15 / 22

True Grit

True Grit

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This remake of a classic John Wayne film allowed Jeff Bridges to fulfill his contractual obligation to be in a Coen Brothers film every few years until his death.

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16 / 22

Beauty And The Beast

Beauty And The Beast

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A live-action version of the Disney cartoon was made after producers figured out a way to train inanimate objects to talk, dance, and sing.

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17 / 22

Terms Of Endearment

Terms Of Endearment

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You wouldn’t know it at first, but this 1983 family comedy drama was actually a remake of the X-rated adult film, Sperms Of Endearment.

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18 / 22

Mad Max: Fury Road

Mad Max: Fury Road

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Director George Miller decided to remake his 1979 action hit in 2015 when he finally had the budget and clout to center the story mostly around breast milk, as originally intended.

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The Departed

The Departed

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A remake of the 2002 Hong Kong film Infernal Affairs, Martin Scorsese led this cat-and-mouse tale to new artistic heights by reimagining all the characters as Irish.

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The Mummy

The Mummy

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As an honorable gesture, director Stephen Sommers patiently waited until most of the cast and crew from the 1932 original died so that he couldn’t be personally sued for remaking it.

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21 / 22

A Star Is Born

A Star Is Born

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Remade in 1951, 1954, 1976, and 2018, Bradley Cooper set out to create a film so unwatchable that it would finally kill the series once and for all.

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