INDIANAPOLIS—After she had looked around for a few minutes with no success, local woman Jean Beech reportedly came to the conclusion Friday that she had forgotten her boyfriend in an Uber the night before and that it would probably be easier to just get a new one. “If I had realized it right away, maybe I could have called, but at this point it definitely makes more sense to find a new one online, or maybe pick one up on my way home from work,” said the 26-year-old, adding that it would actually be refreshing to go a whole day without having to look at her partner of five years. “I do feel silly, because the driver asked me to check the backseat to make sure I wasn’t leaving anything behind. I suppose by now another passenger has probably taken him home, but whatever. I’ve been looking for an excuse to get a new one, anyway—that one was pretty slow and barely worked anymore. And you know, if I absolutely needed to, I could probably even get by for a while with the one I had back in college. I’m sure that one’s still around somewhere.” At press time, sources confirmed Beech was super annoyed after dropping her brand-new boyfriend in the toilet.