BURBANK, CA—Visibly shaken with fresh bruising on his face, Warner Bros. Discovery CEO David Zaslav announced Friday that the studio had no plans to scrap upcoming DC Comics film The Flash at this time. “I just wanted to take a moment to clarify that The Flash will be released as planned in June 2023, despite, um, despite nothing,” said Zaslav, whose eyes darted nervously around as he dispelled rumors that the future of the film was in any kind of jeopardy. “Also, unrelated to anything, Ezra Miller is an amazing person. So talented, so kind. They would never do anything to hurt me—I mean anyone. An honest slip-up, I swear. Please don’t hurt me.” At press time, Zaslav was heard asking an off-camera figure if they would unbind his wrists now.