CINCINNATI—Touting the compact and portable product as incredibly effective, Tide introduced a new ink pen Wednesday for creating stains on the go. “Say goodbye to pesky clean clothes with the all new Tide To Go Ink Pen, capable of creating stains in just seconds,” said Procter & Gamble CEO David Taylor, who touted the product as an indispensable tool for slovenly customers who wanted to make sure they look like a mess wherever they go. “Whether you’re heading into a job interview or just out and about on the weekend, feel confident knowing the Tide To Go Ink Pen is ready to explode in your purse or shirt. You can even slip it into your back pocket, completely forget it’s there, and find your pants completely ruined when you take them out of the dryer.” At press time, Taylor added that the pen was so powerful, it was guaranteed to destroy the rest of the clothing in the load of laundry, too.