Coming out as LGBTQIA+ is a pivotal moment in someone’s life, so it’s always best to not fuck that up. If you want to be a good ally, never say the following things.
Things To Never Say To Someone Who Just Came Out
“Behold! The oracle spoke the truth!”
You can be supportive without mentioning that a blind old woman prophesied your friend’s sexuality to you years ago.
“I’m gayer.”
It’s not a competition.
“You’re so lucky you don’t have to donate blood now.”
This is actually deeply unfair to queer people who desperately want strangers to have their blood.
“A little on the nose to do it during Pride Month, no?”
Everyone is allowed to come to these decisions on their own timeline, even if it suspiciously lines up with an entire month celebrating the queer community.
“Hi, Gay, I’m Dad.”
Actually, this one is fine. Everyone loves a classic.
“How do you know?”
They got a letter for the Department of Gay Affairs, just like everybody else.
“In that outfit?”
Not everyone comes out as stunningly as you.
“I knew the second you told me you were gay.”
Although not wrong, there’s no need to repeat what they just said to you, as everyone gets the point now.
“Your mother and I still love you.”
Have you even been listening? This day is about who they love, not you.
“Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”
“Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”
An unsolicited recitation of the Lord’s Prayer could be misinterpreted.
“You still owe me $45.”
They do, but give them a minute.
“Oh, like Ellen!”
Comparing a friend or acquaintance to Ellen DeGeneres at one of their most vulnerable moments is about the cruelest thing you could do.
“So what’s next for Mr. New Gay Man?”
Give Mr. New Gay Man a minute to breathe before pushing plans on him!
“Are you queerbaiting me?”
Twitter taught you the wrong definition of that word.
“But milord, you must sire an heir, lest your hated cousin the duke inherit your land!”
There’s already enough pressure in this situation without bringing the duke into it.
“This has been so obvious ever since I started stalking you.”
Don’t imply that their closeted sexuality was easily apparent to anyone who peered through their windows with binoculars every night.
“I was planning to come out this very moment, and you just stole my thunder.”
Just wait a few days and come out some other time.
“Would you like to go on record stating that for our organization’s diversity initiative?”
Come on. At least wait a week before swooping in with corporate requests.