Things To Never Say To Someone During A Bad Drug Trip

Now’s not the time to show off how many controlled substances you can name off the top of your head.

This comes across as rudely rubbing it in that your fingers aren’t demon penises right now.

Contrary to popular belief, statements like this, often made before transforming into an anthropomorphized top hat sailing across the background of the universe’s Technicolor wonder, only further open up the possibilities of tumbling down long black portals or being arrested by the Bad Time Bandit later on.

Hey, that isn’t helpful!

Open this door, and you’ll be stuck there listening to their incoherent babbling for hours.

Your roommate might have scoobed your stash accidentally, but at this point you just need to be supportive and not guilt trip her.

That’s for the estate lawyers to sort out.

Eww, you’re being super clingy.

This was so close to the perfect thing to say, but these carefully modified lyrics to the Black Eyed Peas’ “I Gotta Feeling” are actually going to make your friend spiral.

Your sarcasm won’t land effectively until they come out the other side.

Patience and compassion are much more helpful than rattling your broom and shouting at them for pouring out all the Pepto Bismol in aisle five and shouting something indecipherable about fire.

They’re already suffering. No need to punish them further.

The time to compliment how cute your girlfriend is was before she started hearing warped voices beckoning her into the depths of insanity.

Everybody knows to take a Lactaid before the fentanyl.

There’s probably a gentler way to break this to them.

Logging onto ComEd’s payment portal is probably going to be tough while your boyfriend is paying witness to the rapid decomposition of his mother and father’s corpses.

Don’t ruin the illusion that you’re the real-life skeleton master with your need for validation.

It’s not worth mentioning something so petty at a time like this when their purse is sitting right next to them, wide open.

Don’t just stand there spouting empty axioms at them. Go get the butcher knife so they can cut their damaged brain out of their skull.

One at a time, pal.

What To Say If Your Kid Catches You Doing Drugs

Favorite Snacks In Every State

Signs You Definitely Smoke Too Much Weed

Back To Homepage