Things Every Teacher Returning This Fall Is Dreading

Teachers nationwide will once again be asking themselves why they chose this line of work from thousands of others available.

Between the pandemic and school shootings, it’s always good for teachers to have their affairs in order, but the legal side of things can be such a drag.

After last year’s rumors it was going to be Grease, this sucks.

Both his parents died this past year, which means he’ll be even more of shit in class.

While flattering, every teacher is forced to figure out what types of money, drugs, or sexual favors they’re comfortable receiving in exchange for a passing grade.

The last thing any teacher wants to see upon returning to the classroom is a guinea pig skeleton.

Many educators live in fear of the day a student actually counts the stars or even the stripes.

This may not happen for 4 billion years, but no teacher is looking forward to it.

Between setting up the classroom, back-to-school nights, and nervous parents, who has time to worship the orb?

Why does the seating chart have everybody’s name but the teacher’s?

Teachers are already dreading the day a precocious 5-year-old rips off their mask while yelling about “personal liberty” and the 14th Amendment.

He thinks he’s funny but he’s just loud.

Every day is so long.

What should be a joyous day has come to be a weekly reminder of how little society values the shaping of young minds.

No one wants to spend their precious last few weeks of summer vacation going to self defense classes at the gun range.

That’s how it works, right?

The hangover is too overpowering for any of that.

Actually, no, that part was fun.