Texans Explain Why They Are Voting For Greg Abbott

“He obviously hates Texas as much as I do.”

“As a small-business owner and a mom, I sometimes need a hundred unregistered semiautomatics without delay.”

“Voting for our incumbent saves me from having to educate myself on the other candidates.”

“I believe everyone deserves a 12th chance.”

“Voter fraud.”

“Living conditions inside Texas prisons are abhorrent, and I know he’ll keep it that way.”

“It’s Texas state law.”

“We both agree that 19 dead kids in Uvalde was a good start but not nearly enough.”

“I feel like I could have a beer with him.”

“I like that he got vaccinated, but still got Covid. It shows that he can compromise on the issues.”

“Beto is just too tall for me and my family.”

“His support for the a bill outlawing abortion after the baby has a heartbeat inspired me to go around feeling the bellies of pregnant woman for heartbeats and letting them know when they can’t have an abortion anymore.”

“He doesn’t let power grid failures and school shootings distract him from tackling real problems like trans girls playing tennis.”

“I’m sick and tired of Austin being weird.”

“What Beto keeps saying in Spanish is ‘Vote for Greg Abbott.’”

“I’m really digging this year’s bumper sticker design.”

“What if one day I’m an 18-to-20-year-old who needs an AR-15 in 24 hours with no questions asked, for legitimate reasons?”

“He’s the only one I trust to rebuild from the Abbott years.”

“His name is first alphabetically.”

“I want to die.”