WASHINGTON—Telling reporters it was the least he could do to honor the Americans who tragically lost their lives in the attacks, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) announced plans Monday to once again like porn on the anniversary of 9/11. “Next Sept. 11, I promise the American people that I will, just like I did several years ago, open my personal Twitter account, browse through several posts featuring busty pornographic actors, and indicate that I like one of them,” said Cruz, adding that much like Sept. 11, 2017, when he caused a stir by favoriting a two-minute hardcore porn video on Twitter, his public engagement with the tweet would be a source of embarrassment for him but would also make him incredibly horny. “On such a dark, tragic day in our nation’s history, it is my duty as an elected official to log onto Twitter, type ‘boobs,’ ‘sex,’ or ‘naked women’ into the search bar; scroll through several explicit videos and images; and then click on a sexually graphic post that reveals something deep, disturbing, and hypocritical about myself and my sexual preference—something you, my constituents, and the American public can never, ever forget. I promise you, whatever porn I like on Sept. 11, I will attempt to hide the fact that I ever did it, denying it fervently and perhaps even blaming a junior staffer. But by then, several people will have already taken screenshots and shared it widely across the internet. You have my word.” Cruz went on to state that as with the last time he liked a porn post on Sept. 11, he planned to get off primarily on the public shaming, which he promised would cause him to ejaculate both forcefully and repeatedly.