MISSOULA, MT—Craning her neck and looking up to take in the full majesty of the night sky, local woman Andrea Williams reported Monday that stargazing always reminded her of how small her own tits were in the grand scheme of things. “It really helps me put my huge breasts into perspective when I consider just how tiny they are compared to the immeasurable vastness of space and time,” said Williams, who marveled at the densely lit strip of Milky Way packed with billions of unknowable stars and planets, adding that her own seemingly gigantic knockers were merely an inconsequential blip in the tremendous breadth of all existence. “I see now that no matter how enormous and overwhelming my boobs feel today, there is something much, much larger out there. Zoom out to the whole universe and, poof, an ample D-cup is basically insignificant. Whoa, that’s heavy. I mean, the colossal gazongas I can barely see over are no more than an imperceptible jiggle amid the great totality of the cosmos.” At press time, several extraterrestrials were reportedly awestruck upon spotting Williams’ massive set of cans through a telescope.