HYDE PARK, NY—Moments after being seated at local establishment Stonehill Tavern, local man Jeremy Kilpatrick reportedly asked his date, “So what do you do for work?” in a brilliant opening gambit in the great game of making her love him. “So, wait, you said you were in marketing?” said the grandmaster of romance, setting into motion a dazzling feat of strategy—a sort of four-dimensional chess in the art of seduction—that he would navigate with the deftness and ingenuity of a flirtatious maestro, already anticipating three or four moves ahead to a moment when he would comment on the recent spell of chilly weather before transitioning to whether his date had siblings and luring her deeper and deeper into his expertly laid trap. “Uh-huh, and you like doing that? Oh, cool, that’s great. I’m okay with my job. Definitely like some parts. Some parts not so much. Did you figure out what you wanted to order?” At press time, sources confirmed Kilpatrick had offered to split the check, thereby capping off an unforgettable master class of romantic cunning that would culminate in his date choosing to entwine her fate with his for all time.