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Signs You Are Experiencing Parental Burnout

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Between children, work, and generally being a shitty person, life can feel impossible. Here are signs you are experiencing parental burnout.

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You’ve Measured Your Kid To See If They Can Fit Into A Safe Haven Box Outside A Fire Station

You’ve Measured Your Kid To See If They Can Fit Into A Safe Haven Box Outside A Fire Station

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The box is meant for babies, but maybe it could work with a little maneuvering.

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You Regret Abducting Your Children Altogether

You Regret Abducting Your Children Altogether

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It doesn’t make you a bad parent if you regret snatching those kids from the Target parking lot and raising them as your own. It just means you need to carve out some more time for self-care.

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You Occasionally Express Frustration About Some Of The More Difficult Aspects Of Parenthood

You Occasionally Express Frustration About Some Of The More Difficult Aspects Of Parenthood

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This is actually not just a sign of parental burnout but a sign that you are unfit to be a parent and never should have had children in the first place.

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Takes You Longer To Jump In Front Of Bullet

Takes You Longer To Jump In Front Of Bullet

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It used to be instinctual. You still do it now but only after carefully weighing the pros and cons.

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Decreased Public Sex Drive

Decreased Public Sex Drive

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Hormonal imbalances can lead to you wanting to get busy in changing rooms and airplane bathrooms less and less.

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Your Child Catches You Texting Other Kids

Your Child Catches You Texting Other Kids

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This is pretty clearly betrayal and a sign that your parenting has lost its spark.

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Forgetting To Pick Up Child From Soccer Practice For Weeks

Forgetting To Pick Up Child From Soccer Practice For Weeks

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And when you finally do remember, you drive real slow to savor those last few moments without them.

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The Child’s Screeching For Flesh Gives You A Headache

The Child’s Screeching For Flesh Gives You A Headache

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Try building a support network of other parents raising bloodthirsty abominations.

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The Kids Have Started Referring To The Dog As ‘Dad’

The Kids Have Started Referring To The Dog As ‘Dad’

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You should be the one walking your children to school every morning.

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Refusing To Drive Child To School Even If Sexy Teacher Out Front

Refusing To Drive Child To School Even If Sexy Teacher Out Front

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You used to savor the possibility of glimpsing Mr. Odom, but now you’d rather just kick your kid out of the house to catch the bus.

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You Love Your Child More Than Anything In The World

You Love Your Child More Than Anything In The World

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Whoa, you’re hallucinating now.

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You’re Just Kind Of Letting Your Children Commit Crimes Now

You’re Just Kind Of Letting Your Children Commit Crimes Now

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Honestly, it’s nice that they’re finally doing something together.

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You Screamed, “That’s It, Another Word And You’re Grounded!”At Your Boss

You Screamed, “That’s It, Another Word And You’re Grounded!”At Your Boss

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You’re supposed to be saying this in your head, not aloud.

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Your Kids Like You

Your Kids Like You

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This should never happen if you’re parenting at your best.

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You Frequently Google ‘Where Is Casey Anthony Now?’

You Frequently Google ‘Where Is Casey Anthony Now?’

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It’s fun to check in on your favorite celebrity once in a while, but twice a week might be a bit unhealthy.

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Having A Moment When You’ve Parked In Your Garage But Haven’t Turned Your Car Off Yet Where You Think, ‘What If I Just Ran?’

Having A Moment When You’ve Parked In Your Garage But Haven’t Turned Your Car Off Yet Where You Think, ‘What If I Just Ran?’

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Actually, this one is normal.

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You Become Grateful For Your Parents

You Become Grateful For Your Parents

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Right when you get thankful for your parents, that’s when you know you’re facing ultimate burnout.

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You Have Been A Parent For Longer Than Two Hours

You Have Been A Parent For Longer Than Two Hours

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There’s pretty much no avoiding it if it’s been this long.

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