Porn, in all its hairless, vaguely consensual glory, gives everyday Americans an unrealistic view of how disgusting sexual intercourse really is. While you may think you look like the MILFs, naughty stepsons, or barely legal teens that you see on screen, never try to copy these moves from porn.
Inserting a penis into a vagina requires a level of technique that very few non-porn stars possess.
Although a popular trope in pornographic films, this move is mostly ineffective in today’s contactless delivery era.
Too much exertion for the average person.
While the move helped Shaun White win gold in Pyeongchang in 2018, its difficulty makes it safe for professionals only.
It looks sexy when adult film stars do it, but it doesn’t work in real life.
Just because Hieronymus Bosch was a freak doesn’t mean you have to be.
Can’t risk it.
Semen is a toxic substance that can kill if tolerance is not built up gradually over several years.
Risk of injury is far too high. Best leave this one to the pros.
Older women’s dry, desiccated vaginas will only leave you chafed and bloody.
While sexy on camera, accessing the true value of your property holds the inherent risk of losing home equity and should definitely be discussed with all cosigners before attempting.
Guaranteed to break one or more genitals.
Really? You need this slideshow to give you a reason?
Not gonna happen, pal.
Put one leg on the side of the tub, and you’ll finish with a slip and fall.
A little unoriginal, don’t you think?
Any kind of penetrative sex should be strictly left to the professionals.
Who do you think you are? Will you just get to it already?