PHILADELPHIA—Demonstrating that sexism is possible across the animal kingdom, scientists at Drexel University announced Monday that they had successfully taught mice to hate women. “After years of steady progress, we have finally been able to prove that mice are capable of being raging misogynists,” said lead researcher Mitchell Sullivan, explaining that the scientists relied on numerous trials before they successfully trained the rodents to categorize women into prudes, bitches, and cunts. “Just as we hoped, after providing pellets as rewards when they bit female mice, these lab animals now show a strong preference for men, even when they are objectively worse. So much so that we observed them hissing at women when they were not directly squeaked to.” Sullivan also documented a number of favorable outcomes when conditioning mice to target women of color more aggressively.