PARADISE, NV—Noting that the footage had been displayed for hours and was visible from several miles away, sources confirmed Friday that your nude body was currently being projected onto the Sphere in Las Vegas. “Currently, your body, including a full-frontal view of your genitals, is being projected onto the 366-by-516-foot structure that is fully visible from the Las Vegas Strip,” said eyewitness James Albright, who added that several videos of you in the shower, lying nude on your bed, and looking naked in the mirror were now visible in 16k resolution on what is currently the largest LED screen on planet Earth. “While you continued to live your life blissfully unaware that any of this was happening, the Sphere was in fact projecting unflattering videos of your sexual organs from all angles for millions of tourists to see. As we speak, countless tourists are pointing, laughing, and taking photos with your nude body as it takes up over 580,000 square-feet of high-definition screens. It’s humiliating. Especially with it being in 4D.” At press time, Albright added that soon after everyone on the Las Vegas Strip got a good laugh out of your naked form, the Sphere began to project a much more physically attractive body so that yours looked far worse in comparison.