ATLANTA—Struggling to cope with his shock at the outcome of the midterm elections, Sen. Raphael Warnock (D-GA) reportedly lost all faith in God this week after being forced into a runoff against Herschel Walker. “What loving creator would create a world where I’m required to compete in not one, but two elections against a man like Herschel Walker?” said the visibly shaken Warnock, who removed his glasses in disbelief as he wrestled with the grave theological implications of being a mere percentage point away from losing to a former football player who allegedly threatened to murder his own family members. “Is this some sort of divine test? No, it is much, much worse. I have been a person of faith for 52 years on this planet and every moment was a rotten lie. There’s no meaning in this twisted universe. There is no God watching over us, and, surely, if there is any sort of deity, he is a wicked being who tortures us for His pleasure. Don’t call me reverend. I am not God’s emissary. I am His nemesis.” At press time, Warnock’s approval rating had edged upward several points after he was spotted tearing his clothes asunder and running naked into a river to curse the sky.