Parents Explain Why They Do Not Allow Their Children To Play Football

“I’d rather live vicariously through a baseball player.”

“I’ve already compromised his brain’s development enough by homeschooling him.”

“It’s the only way to ensure they will never have to suffer the miserable fate of being a Detroit Lion someday.”

“I don’t want to spend the next 10 years pretending that I know the rules.”

“Every parent’s worst fear is that their child will go pro and then decide to run for Senate.”

“I don’t want him to be distracted from his duties as equipment manager.”

“He’s already so ugly, I’d rather he not be concussed as well.”

“If anyone’s going to do irreparable damage to my son, it’s going to me, psychologically.”

“The school’s mascot isn’t racist enough.”

“It just seems a little late in life for Josh to make such a drastic career change.”

“I think it’s pretty concerning there’s still no rule that says a dog can’t play football.”

“My son is 54.”

“Honestly, he’s just really, really bad at it.”

“I’d be too tempted to bet on the games.”

“The NFL can downplay it all they want, but studies clearly show the damage football does to everyone else’s Sunday.”

“I don’t want my kid getting put in a wheelchair for anything less than the Marines.”

“I can’t discuss pending litigation.”

“I already bought him a gun, so I guess I should pretend to draw a line somewhere.”

“My kids can get traumatic brain injuries at home just fine.”

“We don’t live in the United States.”