WASHINGTON—Shortly after seeing a poll showing 40% of Americans are still convinced the 2020 election was stolen, Barack Obama announced plans Tuesday to take advantage of widespread belief in conspiracy theories by claiming that he was still president. “Look, if this country is seriously at a place where I can get 25, 30% of Americans to believe this, then, sure—I, Barack Obama, am still the president of the United States,” said Obama, announcing plans to drum up support for the fraudulent claim through rallies for infuriated supporters and appearances with sympathetic hosts on CNN and MSNBC. “Really, all I need to say is that I never formally left office in January 2017, and that I need millions of dollars from Democratic voters to help fight this insidious threat to our democracy. It’ll boost voter turnout and help folks rally around the DNC platform. Hell, even if I’m not restored to the Oval Office, it will help me personally and financially. So, yes, let me say it for the record: Donald Trump and his corrupt lackeys stole the 2016 election from me, and I would still be president if it weren’t for his meddling in the vote count.” Upon seeing the positive reaction from die-hard supporters, the 44th president went on to add that, sure, Michelle, Sasha, and Malia are also still the president.