NFL Satisfies Outraged Fans With New Overtime Rule That Both Teams Win

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NEW YORK—Responding to outcry over the ending of a 2021 playoff victory by the Kansas City Chiefs over the Buffalo Bills, the National Football League reportedly satisfied fans Friday with a new overtime rule that both teams win. “This rule change, which will be implemented next season and will apply to all playoff games, including the Super Bowl, means that no one will have to watch their team lose just because the other team played better—that simply wouldn’t be fair,” said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, vowing that a situation where the Chiefs defeated the Bills just because the Bills defense couldn’t stop them from scoring points was an “injustice” and that it would never happen again. “We understand that fans were upset with the way our overtime rules functioned, so from now on, both teams will emerge victorious no matter what. The overtime period will last 15 minutes, or however long it takes each team to score as many points as they want to before they get sleepy and decide to go home. Fans watching a close, hard-fought game that ends tied in regulation will now be able to clap their hands in delight from the very beginning of the overtime period knowing that their team is going to win the game, along with the other team. This is the only fair way.” Goodell added that if the new rule proved successful, the league was open to eliminating losses altogether and letting every team finish the season 16-0 with 1,000 touchdowns.