WASHINGTON—As Covid restrictions continue to ease across the country, the nation has become more and more comfortable masturbating indoors again, sources confirmed Monday. “After more than two years of only allowing myself to masturbate outdoors, it’s nice to finally feel relaxed enough to jerk off inside, just like I used to,” said Maryland resident Ethan Middleton, echoing the sentiment of 330 million Americans as he expressed his relief at no longer having to trek to a public park or open-air farmers market just to pleasure himself. “Don’t get me wrong, after not masturbating indoors for so long, I do still get a bit nervous about beating off in places like movie theaters. But I’m slowly easing my way back into cranking one out during matinees.” At press time, Middleton added that he felt good after jacking off in an Uber for the first time since the pandemic started.