Most Frequently Googled Health Questions

There’s an actual 9-inch hole in your chest, but maybe you don’t have to bother with all that ER rigmarole if you’ve already got the cure in your spice rack.

One of the most common Google searches returns the immediate response of “because you’re a fucking idiot.”

Unfortunately, none of these providers listed are in your insurance network.

This bizarre search generates more anxiety than it’s worth, as fewer than one person in a thousand actually gets cancer from this question.

Those suffering from serious or chronic conditions are tempted to Google whether God hates them, but the amount of data Google has gathered on your personal life is able to answer this question with surprising accuracy, so only search if you’re willing to face potentially disappointing results.

You’ll want to reach out to a psychiatrist about this immediately to begin building a solid legal defense.

Google can’t tell you that even if you pee on the search bar.

Despite their inner strength and tremendous beauty, most women will unfortunately one day die.

Sadly, due to stigma, most people turn to the internet to find the answer to this common burning question, often too embarrassed to ask “What is doctor?” in real life.

Sadly, in this country, people will often turn to Google to get cost estimates before seeking out even urgent care.

Many of the most-searched medical questions come from a place of real desperation.

Google will often recommend proceeding to the washroom and using the toilet if an individual feels pressure building in their bladder. But remember that these answers are unvetted by medical professionals: Go directly to the doctor’s office while sopping wet in order to get a second opinion.

Symptoms of STDs are one of the most frequently Googled topics.

Keeping track of calorie consumption is a great first step to losing weight.

Healthline recommends 200 feet.

Despite the answer being fairly obvious to many Americans, every year, up to 20 million users Google “where is foot” or variations including “is foot down” and “two feet normal?”

People who’ve been bitten by one of the most poisonous snakes on earth obviously want to know how long they’ll be feeling that neurotoxic paralysis the next day.

Rather than call 911, many uninsured Americans chose to Google “WebMD + on fire” and follow the instructions to often disastrous results.

Many Google users worry about the organs that appeared in their bodies at a very young age without any warning and have since spread throughout their chest.

Probably fine to sleep this one off.