Most Famous Celebrity Sexts Of All Time

“I think you’re the member of One Direction that I date, and if so, would you like to have sex soon?”

“You have been selected.”

“Dear Victoria, I think it would be neat if we went out to dinner tomorrow night. Please let me know if that works for you. Regards, David.”

“Hi, David. Dinner sounds acceptable. In the future, please direct all non-urgent correspondences to my secretary. Yours, Victoria.”

“k”

“Maybe it would be hot to do it without the Batman costume for once?”

“I’m using top-secret texting technology that won’t be public for another 40 years to tell you how much i need your scrumptious milky titties.”

“You, my virtual reality avatar, are the only one I trust to punish my balls the way they deserve to be punished.”

“One of the perks of being married to you is that we get to have enjoyable, consensual sex at our leisure, and I sure am excited to do that again with you sometime soon!”

“I want to tell the world all the dirty things we do in the bedroom on the next episode of Red Table Talk, streaming exclusively on Facebook Watch.”

“Can you please email that NDA to my lawyer so I can send you an erotic message?”

“If I’m being honest I’ve never actually had sex before and I’m so scared that when I put my thingy in you it’ll get stuck and we’ll have to live the rest of our lives in that position.”

“Honey, are you up? Can you please let me in? Sorry, I forgot my keys. No worries, if not. I can just spend the night in the car.”

“Good afternoon, or, rather, good evening, as it were. I was wondering if perhaps, if you were so inclined, we could possibly—again, only if you were amenable to it—meet up at a location of your choosing, perhaps my place or yours, or some third location—I’m perfectly flexible—and, if you wanted to, we could maybe, perchance, possibly…oh God, I’m so nervous I can hardly bring myself to say it…my point is, or rather what I’m asking is…well…would you care to, maybe, fuck?”

“How do you spell out the sound of a kiss? How can you write passion and moaning and love into a simple text? How can I convey my desire for you without a picture of my wiener, and how do I get you to say yes?”

“When reporters ask me, I’m going to pretend that I didn’t know you were underage, and then I’m going to blame your parents for letting me text you.”

“Have you ever wanted to have sex with a congressman who has his kids every other weekend?”

“Boingo zoingo awooga awooga.”

“Which one of you gutter sluts wants to ride the Hanks Express to Fucktown tonight?”