Most Dangerous Parts Of Attending A Music Festival

Getting hoisted overhead by concertgoers seems fun at first, but not after weeks go by and they refuse to put you down.

It’s dangerous, though understandable, to die rather than pay $15 for a water bottle.

Failing to do some market research before your trip can cost you in the long run.

At a festival, it may take first responders precious minutes to get to you before you completely open up to a stranger.

For 48 brief hours, you did not think about Microsoft Excel at all.

You don’t know these bands. You’re sleepy, and your feet hurt. This is the beginning of the end.

When you start to notice how pathetic everyone actually looks, it will ruin everything.

They’ll live it up in the platinum-level air-conditioned lounge and stuff your body in a Porta-Potty.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a lyric in the song, you can kiss that career in marketing goodbye.

Your body isn’t built to handle a weekend like this anymore.

Trust us. He’s stronger than he looks.

Dance as wildly as possible so they go for the weaker attendees.

Everyone glosses over this part of the Terms & Agreements for Coachella.

This legendarily fearsome barbarian warlord is unstoppable in combat, and he loves the communal energy of live music.

While it may smell good, the honest truth is you’re being roasted alive in a delicious blend of Mexican herbs and spices.

Many times pyrotechnics that are accidentally shot into packed crowds are laced with drugs like cocaine, methamphetamines, and even fentanyl.

It’s unfortunate, but the truth is that most music festivals are so boring that the majority of attendees blow their own brains out.

Hey, what the fuck, dude?