WASHINGTON—Shelling out $55 for the loving tribute, Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) reportedly took out a half-page ad in a House bill Friday to congratulate a local teen girl on her high school graduation. “Congrats, Kayla, so proud of you, punkin!” read the Republican lawmaker’s ad, which featured hearts, flowers, and the senior portrait of the 17-year-old, and which appeared just below title 24, section 137 of H.R. 4298, a bill that would extend mental health care coverage for veterans of the Iraq War. “Class of 2023 Sherwood High School is full of rock stars, but you are the coolest of them all. And a 3.6 GPA? Brains and beauty. Congrats on Vassar, but don’t have too much fun in college! I mean it. I’m not voting for this, by the way. It’s a Trojan horse for the progressive agenda. See you at the party later! XOXO, Matty.” At press time, sources reported Gaetz was in hot water after it was revealed H.R. 4298 featured a half-page ad for a graduating girl on every one of its 198 pages.