COLUMBUS, IN—Saying he must be involved in some sort of high-stakes negotiations over the terms of a sale worth billions of dollars, hotel sources told reporters Monday that the unidentified man using the La Quinta business center must be a top-ranking corporate executive in town to close a major deal. “He’s been in there for about an hour, probably hammering out the final details of a bid to take over a rival company or acquire a hot new start-up,” said hotel guest Vickie Driscoll, adding that the man, presumed to be a hard-charging dealmaker who must have arrived in rural Indiana by private jet, had taken at least one phone call and was clicking around a lot on the circa-2015 desktop computer located in a small room near the snack machines. “He’s keeping it remarkably cool, though, wearing shorts and a polo shirt and playing a game of Yahoo Poker in the background while he is also, I assume, poring over asset valuations and winning the last-minute support of key shareholders. But tomorrow morning I’m sure we’ll see him in a three-piece suit grabbing his free continental breakfast in the lobby before a limo whisks him away to a Fortune 500 company’s headquarters in a fancy high-rise somewhere.” At press time, sources confirmed the laser-jet printer in the business center had jammed while the powerful executive was using it, which almost certainly meant a La Quinta shift manager’s head was going to roll.